I've been thinking a lot about what I want for my funeral the past few days, and I've come to realize it looks a lot like a fever dream induced by mainlineing a lethal dose of Cirque du Soleil and Existential Philosophy.

RT @hotdogsladies@twitter.com

"I dunno. I guess I pretty much always feel bad for everybody all the time. It's the curse of the liberal arts degree."

—Me, just now apparently

🐦🔗: twitter.com/hotdogsladies/stat

RT @cnnbrk@twitter.com

G7 nations, including the US, are to ban new imports of Russian gold, Moscow's largest export after energy cnn.it/3OsIHEP

🐦🔗: twitter.com/cnnbrk/status/1540

The notification that @hotdogsladies@twitter.com had retweeted this came in just as "Careless Whisper" started to play. It was perfection!

RT @tulpapilled@twitter.com

Let's see Paul Allen's doll

🐦🔗: twitter.com/tulpapilled/status

I'm at a souvenir shop on the Gulf Coast, and the gonks are spreading! @ashens@twitter.com

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